Again

I need to have another tantrum. Right now - in my own little experience of life caught in this very moment -

SHIT SUCKS. It does. And I hate it. And I can say I hate and not feel guilty. If I feel it, then it's justifiable for me. I hate. I hate it. I hate it. I hate all of it. I hate none of it. I hate that I don't know what to do. I hate that I hate. I hate tht things fall apart. I hate that no one is here. I hate that I want to go home and I don't have one. I hate being so damn vulnerable. I hate that I love people. I hate feeling so absolutely and utterly lost. I hate that I suck at verbalizing emotions. And you know what, I even hate myself right now. And now I hate that I'm realizing who most of this is directed at...but I really don't hate her at all.

This is not supposed to happen anymore. It always does. Every single time things fall apart (I just wanted to use that book title!)

Life goes on and tomorrow is another day...for hate! Ok, just kidding.