For example; take whatever plan you had and forget about it. Just go with the flow because God is definitely going to put you wherever he wants. My scientific evidence...the past two years! I'll pass choosing a degree in social work. I don't remember consciously doing, but I'm hoping I did at least that much.
My dream school was Columbia. I was SO sure I wanted to live in New York and go to Columbia like my good friend Barack. Corny, yes? Got accepted went to New York and totally hated and could not see myself there. Dream...crushed. I have no idea why I applied to UGA. I knew nothing about UGA, Georgia, or Athens. But there was this other acceptance letter...in a state I had never been to. But since it's in the south, I figured it couldn't be that much different.
Moved to GA: hated my apartment, hated not knowing where I was going, hated not knowing ANYONE, hated being alone all the time, and hated the program. You get the picture, I hated my life. I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life and was in communication with the SW department at UT to move there spring semester. It was bad, lol.
Then this crazy (ok, not so crazy) girl facebooks me and asked for my number. She was also from out of state and wanted to grab some lunch. I thank God for that phone call. I had no idea how thankful I would be, but it was the start of a great friendship. We went to lunch and the next thing I know, we're hanging out 24/7. I was going to move into a nice 1BR apt and she and her roommate had an extra room. SCORE!
Then I get rejected for my initial internship placement at a hospital. Got placed in a school system and met an amazing and understanding group of social workers. They did so much for me this year and totally came through for me in a untimely and unexpected event.
Without going into too much detail, I'll just say that living with A was totally the right move. Not sure how the year would have gone if I wasn't where I am now.
Job search time? Duh, I'm going home. I'm going and never leaving again. I'm working with kids! Hmmm, right. Can I tell you, I got a job alright. It's where I am now and it's totally in BFE. The shocker...it's in a HOSPICE! People dying all over the place. People crying all day. Mad and demented old people. Yeah...never would have chosen to work here and it NEVER crossed my mind. The job was sent out on our listserv and I read it and really...I swear God spoke to me. I felt like I was supposed to apply.
I applied. I didn't think anything would come of it. I emailed them my information TUesday. The email didn't say how to contact them, so I just emailed the info email on the site and asked that it be forwarded to the right department. Shot in the wind. Thursday, I got a call for an interview. I'm thinking in the next week and she asks me to come the next morning. I told my roomie she should apply...and she pointed out the part that said they needed an LCSW. Definitely didn't see that when I applied. I'm nowhere close to an LCSW. But they did call. Go to the interview and just clicked with the social workers. They asked me to come meet their director and introduced me to the staff. In addition to a few other things, I spent all weekend analyzing everything that happened.
Monday I'm babysitting for one of those awesome social workers I worked for. I rented our complex theatre and we watched movies. For some reason I felt like I should pay attention to my phone (it was silent) Around 1130 it rang...a strange number. The director calling to offer me the job!
If you read all that, do you understand how crazy that is!? Application to offer in less than a week! I have friends (a lot smarter than me,lol) who haven't even gotten interviews. I also have friends who can't find jobs that pay worth a crap. My offer is pretty good and will go up when I pass my LMSW exam. I'm not licensed yet and most medical facilities would not even consider me. They are giving me a chance!
That's not be bragging. That is me explaining how God has totally come through for me in ways I never expected. He made the pieces fall into place.
He has done this so many times in my life and still I get so anxious about things and try to make things happen on my own. It's like he's telling me, "How many times do I have to show you...TRUST ME!" Lord, I think I got it!
My therapist and I have talked a lot about moving back to Texas and termination with him and leaving a really good friendship (so...I may have some attachment/separation issues, don't judge!) and of course, I'm always telling him I don't want to talk about it. He has always told me that we might never have to talk about it, because I might not move. I would laugh him off. I can't wait to tell him he isn't getting rid of me so soon! I hope I can wait until I see him...I really want to email him. But I want to see his face when he realizes he was right. He's going to be so proud of himself ;)
My room mate doesn't have a job here. I'm anxious about it a bit, but I'm going to (try) and let it go. It's not my decision and if we are supposed to live together a few more years it will happen. It'll totally suck if she moves and I'll probably be in therapy three times a week with J throwing me out every time...but life goes on! (Someone remind me of that if she actually does move, because I still think I need her with ME! I'm jealous like that)
Forgive me if that didn't make sense or had an ungodly amount of typos. I've had a long day!
* EEK! I might be getting a little to open and honest on the internets. I hope I'm anonymous enough :)
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